Dear Emma & Jill,
This letter is long overdue and, like most apologies, hard to deliver. Let me start with something I hope you know, but want to tell you in case you don't: you are precious and perfect. You are both of these things simply because you are children of God. It is an absolute honor and blessing to be your mother. I've not always done everything right or made all the best decisions, but I hope you know and understand that I always wanted to get it right. I love you from the depth of my being and could never thank you enough for the privilege of being your mom. You've taught me so much and helped me grow in all things that matter like kindness, patience, love, generosity, and wisdom.
We live in a fallen world. We live in a world full of judgment, comparison, and unrealistic expectations. Unfortunately, this seems to be especially true for women. The world will tell you-you are not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough or strong enough. The world will tell you these things because it wants to sell you their answer and solutions to fix all that is wrong with you. Be on guard, it will come in slick packages with clever slogans. The world will convince you to spend your money and sacrifice your common sense on the altar of popular opinion with taglines like "you deserve this" or "finally have the body you always wanted." The world will market lifestyles and fads to you by convincing you that you're truly only well or healthy if you "eat clean" or "real food" or organic, all-natural, unprocessed and pure culinary offerings. Beware, even well-meaning people of faith will tell you that God cares about what you eat and your health and that you can only honor Him if you eat certain foods, engage in certain forms of exercise or eliminate entire food groups from your diet. To be sure, God does care about your health. God cares about every aspect of your life. But Beloveds, don't you dare fall prey to that lie that your holiness depends on the food you eat or your righteousness is jeopardized if you don't follow the right diet. These are lies of the enemy to distract you from what is most important to God: your relationship with Christ.
This letter is not my apology on behalf of a broken culture and misguided society. I'm not vain enough to think I bear sole responsibility for the environment you must navigate as you move from young girl to young woman. No, my apology is much more personal. I am deeply sorry that I have fallen for all of the above lies, bought into all of the nonsense that tells me I'm not good enough and followed too many trends and fads trying to find the perfect formula to health and if I'm honest, beauty. But more than being sorry that I fell for the schemes of the enemy, I am sorry that you innocently followed in my footsteps and modeled my disordered behavior. I am sorry that food rules in our home seemed to change from minute to minute. I apologize that our dinner table, which should be a source of comfort and familiarity in your otherwise hectic day, has too often been a source of anxiety, tension, and unpredictability. I apologize that at times some foods in our home were forbidden and some foods were labeled either bad or good, real or fake, clean or junk. These are all lies. Food is food. Period. No food is evil, no food is righteous. Food is a gift from God that provides nutrients and energy we need to fulfill His purpose for our life. But food is also a gift from God to be enjoyed, savored and delighted in, especially with others. We need not crave or idolize food, but we also need not fear it or operate from a place of scarcity. Girls, I am sorry for the past few years that food moved from a delectable, enjoyable blessing to a feared, moderated, quantified substance. Food is made up of nutrients but it is made with love. When we love the people we eat with and enjoy the food we share - whether organic farm to table fare or a hamburger from McDonald's - we nourish ourselves body and soul in ways that cannot be measured on a scale or in a fitness app.
You are strong. You are capable. In fact, you are capable of so much more than you can imagine. You should move your bodies every day in ways that bring you joy and make you feel energized. No workout program or exercise regime will give you a perfect body or make you beautiful. God already did that and no one this side of Heaven can improve on the Master's beautiful creation. Your beauty has no rival and needs no alterations. What exercise can do is equip you to feel confident and prepared for all God will call you to do. Despite what countless programs and gym memberships promise, the goal of working out is not a size or weight. For too long I shied away from my own strength and tried to fit a cultural ideal of beauty. Make no mistake, I will not stand by and let you fall victim to the same slavery and bondage. As a woman, you have a unique and beautiful ability to be defiantly strong and bravely vulnerable. Be your own brand of beautiful. Treat yourself well and honor God by caring for the body with which He blessed you to accomplish all He has planned for you. Whether you run, bike, hike, lift weights, do yoga, dance, rock climb or simply take a walk every day, do it from a place of gratitude for what your body can do and never from a place of shame or defeat. If you're not good at something and you want to be better, go after it. Self-improvement, whether spiritual or physical, doesn't come cheap or easy but it does come to those who show up.
So, ladies, show up. Don't apologize for who you are and who God made you to be. Don't follow trends, fads or celebrities. Follow the Way. Guard your hearts. Train yourselves to recognize God's truth through the forest of the enemies lies. Strive to be better. But do not strive to be better than the girl next to you. Be better than the girl you saw in the mirror yesterday. And the girl next to you? Help her to stand, lift her up when she falls and be a voice in her life that rises above the noise of this world.
All My Love & Devotion,
Mommy
Comments
Post a Comment