I Confess

Every Wednesday evening I get together with two of my best girlfriends for bible study, chatting, crying, laughing and no small dose of encouragement. The studies may change and the topics may vary but the one constant is the refreshment my soul receives from my time with these sweet sisters. 

Last Wednesday one-third of our trio was unable to make it and we had not yet begun our next study. As such, the remaining two of us decided it only appropriate that we still get together for a little nourishment for our hearts in the form of friendship and for our bellies in the form of gelato.

We sat outside in the mild heat and caught up over our cool, creamy concoctions and gabbed about recent vacations, home projects, parenting stresses and our upcoming Bible study. As I sat there listening to my friend share about a heartfelt conversation she'd recently had with a family member, I began to feel I needed to share about a recent conversation I'd had with my husband. Only, as soon as this thought entered my mind I quickly dismissed it convincing myself it was nothing more than gossip. After all, I should respect my husband in and out of his presence. Surely if I were to divulge such a private conversation it would break his trust and privacy. "Just keep your mouth shut, " I told myself. But then the thought came again: I should tell her about this recent conversations and yes, minor argument. "No," I told myself again, "don't get caught up in gossip."

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.   1 John 1:9

gos·sip (ˈɡäsəp/) noun - casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details that are not confirmed as being true. 
con·fess (kənˈfes/) verb - admit or acknowledge something reluctantly, typically because one feels slightly ashamed or embarrassed.

True, I was contemplating sharing details about another person, but having been party to the conversation, I can definitely confirm the details were accurate (particularly because they were less than flattering toward me.) No, what I was feeling was definitely the nudge to admit something...reluctantly...out of shame and embarrassment.  This, friend,  is an important distinction. I was not feeling convicted not to gossip. Rather I was ignoring the conviction to confess sin to my sister in Christ.

I wonder how often this happens. How often do we justify ignoring the conviction to confess sin claiming the noble excuse of avoiding gossip? Don't get me wrong, gossip is a sin and, as James advises us, we need to attempt to tame our tongue (James 1:26, 4:11.) However, the enemy is a sneaky adversary and I've no doubt he's used and manipulated the command to not gossip in an effort to confuse and convince us to hold our tongue when we should speak up. When we fall prey to this lie, we refrain from speech not in a righteous act of avoiding gossip, but in silent shame of guilt and embarrassment. After all, if confession is a path to forgiveness and righteousness, Satan has every reason to tongue tie us and gag our mouths with fear.

I am pleased to report that I did, in fact, end up sharing the details of the conversation wherein I did not respond well to my husband. And while my friend listened with a kind ear and the nod of her head and sweet smile seemed to validate my feelings, she also helped me navigate through the blur of my own hurt to clearly see my mistakes, consider my husband's perspective and commit to seeking his forgiveness. When I got home that evening I immediately sought his forgiveness and of course, my kind and merciful husband was quick to forgive. We prayed together and not only was our relationship mended, but my relationship with my Holy Father was restored.

Sisters, I know we need to avoid gossip. I know we need to be careful to build each other up and not tear a girl down with our words, especially behind her back. But let's not use the noble goal of avoiding inflicting pain with our words in the form of gossip to keep us from receiving healing and restoration by using our words to confess and seek forgiveness.